Germans typically describe Americans as open, friendly, along with superficial. Americans consider Germans to be honest, straightforward and reliable, along with aloof. Are these perceptions true characteristics of the groups, or are they based on learned cultural norms?
What are Cultural Norms?
Cultural norms are standards we live by. They guide our behavior and expectations like a hidden language. When we encounter unexpected behaviors, we decode them in terms of our cultural norms. This often leads to cross-cultural misunderstandings.
Germans describe Americans as open, friendly, flexible and superficial. Americans consider Germans to be honest, straightforward, reliable and aloof. www.walled-in-berlin.com
Origin of American Cultural Norms
American attitudes and behaviors are rooted in a long history of going west. Americans gave up one set of circumstances for a better situation somewhere else. It created a culture that values optimism, initiative and openness towards strangers. To succeed in American society, one must be able to deal with many different people. The number of business contacts and personal friends tends to be large. The scores of contacts and the readiness to move on short notice has made Americans friendly but also disinclined to discuss things “in depth” with each other.
Origin of German Cultural Norms
Germany didn’t become unified until 1871. Until then, Germany had been a patchwork of more than a hundred small states, each with its own ruler. A person’s status was determined at birth and remained fixed throughout life. The two world wars changed all that. They brought periods of extreme instability to Germany and created an intense longing for security. Discipline, reliability and respect for authority restored that sense of stability and security. The circles of friends and business contacts tend to be small and stable and rarely comingle. Therefore, Germans value deep conversations with their friends while keeping business conversations confined to business matters.
Cultural Norms Can Lead to Cross-Cultural Misunderstandings
Because of these unique backgrounds, Americans and Germans decode attitudes and behaviors differently. Consider the following examples: (1) Germans tend to be direct in their verbal messages while Americans are more likely to temper them with expressions of politeness (some current politicians excepted). (2) Germans want you to know where they stand while Americans want to keep the communication upbeat. (3) To Americans their German business partners often appear aloof because of the line the Germans draw between business and play. To the latter, play is what happens in the company of family and friends and outside of business hours. (4) Germans are puzzled when a casual American acquaintance suggests getting together for a cup of coffee and then doesn’t follow through. Invariably, the German has concluded that the invitation signals an interest in establishing a closer friendship while the American was just interjecting a little pleasantry into the conversation.
For a sneak peek at the first 20+ pages of my memoir, Walled-In: A West Berlin Girl’s Journey to Freedom, click “Download a free excerpt” on my home page and feel free to follow my blog about anything German: historic or current events, people, places or food.
Walled-In is my story of growing up in Berlin during the Cold War. Juxtaposing the events that engulfed Berlin during the Berlin Blockade, the Berlin Airlift, the Berlin Wall and Kennedy’s Berlin visit with the struggle against my equally insurmountable parental walls, Walled-In is about freedom vs. conformity, conflict vs. harmony, domination vs. submission, loyalty vs. betrayal.
