Posts Tagged ‘self-esteem’

Schadenfreude – Source of Quiet Glee

Monday, April 20th, 2020

 

Schadenfreude is a peculiar emotion. It is the distinctly pleasurable sensation we feel when we first learn of some misfortune that befell successful friends or relatives. This burst of glee occurs involuntarily and is often mixed with shame because we don’t want to appear to lack compassion. Practically all adults feel Schadenfreude at some point. Even children, as young as one year of age, can experience the emotion.

The word is German in origin and consists of the nouns “Schaden” and “Freude.” The first means “harm,” the second means “glee”. Schadenfreude was first used in German writings in the 1740s and in English literature in 1852. There is no English substitute.

Example of Schadenfreude

The company I worked for announced the creation of a new position, a potential promotion for some of us. But management made it clear that we need not apply. They had in mind a candidate with more skills than we could bring to the table. The position was advertised and by the time the application period closed, no candidate with the desired skill set had applied. Eventually, management hired an applicant with fewer skills than any of us had to offer. Within a year, the new-hire was terminated because he had not worked out. I still remember the Schadenfreude I felt. My glee was not directed toward the ill-fated employee but toward management. By acting so smug, the powers to be had gotten what they deserved: A totally unqualified employee.

Schadenfreude is the glee we feel when someone we envy gets knocked down a peg. www.walled-in-berlin.com

Schadenfreude is the glee we feel when someone we envy gets knocked down a peg. www.walled-in-berlin.com

Connection between Schadenfreude and Self-esteem

We don’t all feel Schadenfreude at the same events or to the same degree. While some bask in their glee openly, others quickly feel ashamed and turn off their Schadenfreude valves. Research shows that people with low self-esteem are more susceptible to the emotion than individuals with a high self-regard. The former group clutches to the disappointments of others to make themselves feel better.

Two Types of Schadenfreude

Human beings evaluate themselves not so much by objective standards as by comparison to the people around them. We like to take pleasure in our moral superiority and stifle our feelings of envy and inadequacy. Psychologists associate two types of pleasures we derive from another person’s misfortune.

There is Rivalry-based or Envy-based Schadenfreude, which is driven by social comparison. When the objects of our envy have been been knocked down a peg, they return to our own level of social standing. This is often seen during sport competitions or political rivalry.

Then there is Merit-based Schadenfreude, which focuses on social justice. It is the feeling that one experiences when somebody finally gets what’s coming to them (see example above).

 

For a sneak peek at the first 20+ pages of my memoir, Walled-In: A West Berlin Girl’s Journey to Freedom, click “Download a free excerpt” on my home page and feel free to follow my blog about anything German: historic and current events, people, places and food.

Walled-In is my story of growing up in Berlin during the Cold War. Juxtaposing the events that engulfed Berlin during the Berlin Blockade, the Berlin Airlift, the Berlin Wall and Kennedy’s Berlin visit with the struggle against my equally insurmountable parental walls, Walled-In is about freedom vs. conformity, conflict vs. harmony, domination vs. submission, loyalty vs. betrayal.

 

What Creates Healthy Self-Esteem?

Thursday, June 8th, 2017

 

Self-esteem comes from being able to define the world in your own terms and refusing to abide by the judgments of others.

— Oprah Winfrey